LOVE IS OUCH (Otso)

(Ivan’s POV)
After I saw her this morning..my heart went wild again..yes I am indeed a jerk..for hurting my besftriend and the only woman I ever love..I have been inlove with her since high school..Itried to suppress my feelings and waited for a sign that she too feels the same way..I shoo every suitors she had/have, tear every love letter she had/ have for I want her to be mine alone..but as years passes by and she became an actress my chances become too small..I felt that to her I’m just her dear bestfriend that we can never be more than what I love us to be..she’s the heiress ,the young superstar in our generation,the most indemand and sought after leading lady that every derictor and actors would want to work with..me..I have my own name and title but compared to her I am nothing..I even thought that I became famous because of my family’s name and her being my bestfriend..but she told me I have my own star and never get insecure because I am her star..it gives me hope a bit...but still there’s no sign..so I tried hard to forget my feelings for her and try to move on..then one night I found out that Kazel have feelings for me when I accidentally heard her talking to herself...yes I took advantage to it..I secretly courted her..she wasn’t an easy to cooed with..even if she’s inlove with me it took me five months to make her say yes..I still love my bestfriend but little by little I’m beginning to like kazel..not yet love but I’m holding into it..she’s a nice lady..came from a good family too..and one of our bestfriend..we took our relationship secretly..until one dinner that our family called us up..they told us that we are going to engage for an arrange marriage..its as if someone push the button of my life time bomb when I heard it..why now?why now when I already have Kazel..I get my self angry for my bestfriend for her to hate me..I don’t want my life to be inline with complication..not now when I’m starting to move on..so I did everything that will make her despise me..until one revealation came..yes that was when our group found us making out in our hangout place..I almost killed my self when I heard from her that she loves me...it brokes me apart when I looked at the pain in her eyes..I know my bestfriend so much ..yes she was calmed and controlled that day but her eyes where shouting from pain,betrayal..and I almost killed my self that very moment..but I can do nothing but continually play my jerk act..yes I verbally hurt her that caused my friend to hit me...that was painful but it was nothing compared the pain I’ve caused not only to her but the rest of the group yes including Kazel ..didn’t they know that I was crying inside too..maybe more pain than what they feel..because she is my bestfriend and I’m the reason why she is in pain and why she is running away..and I love her not just her bestfriend..I am indeed inlove with my bestfriend
All those days that she wasn’t around ..no one knows but I looked for her..I go every possible places she would go..but luck wasn’t in my side ..I never find her..then this morning I decided to have breakfast again along with our friends Thank God who forgives us..yes they've forgiven us and its all because my bestfriend told them to do so..awards night will be at the evening and still she’ s missing..I was planning to look for her again..I ‘d still want to escort her..but then as if on cue she came in from a door with a light face..more beautiful than she was..she seems glowing..I kept on stoling glances without her and our friends noticing it..then I saw her took her phone..I even saw her blushing and giddying like a high schooler .. I almost asked her who’s she texting with..then her phone rangs ..she is really blushing and happy..pains once again succumb..but I have Kazel now..and then someone send her ,her favourite dessert ..I can no longer take it..so as fast as I could before my facade be revealed I took my pace and told them I’m done..and drove to my little heaven there once again I cried...Kazel..she makes me happy..she loves me..but damn this heart ..this heart still longs and love my bestfriend whom I deeply hurt..what will I do..I don’t want to heart Kazel..but Im still inlove with my bestfriend..
When the Awards night came..I was so worried with my bestfriend..I was thinking if who would escort her..when it was me always..then she arrived a beauty that no one would ever ignore..a goddess in her own right..walking with confident and exuding with charms then I followed where and whose arms she was clinging too..it makes me fall down from my chair when I recognized who she’s with..James Reid..they look good together..chemistry was overflowing..its supposed to be me..but I let her go..I heard every gasps of the attendees I saw jew drops..then her name was called and proclaimed and won the best actress award..she hugged everybody including us me and Kazel..I was shocked but I am thankful that she did..she just don’t know how much it affects me..I miss her so much..but after she hugged me..she hugged him..and I know right there and then that I was right with my decision..I may caused so much pain in her..but it brings good to her..I never saw her looked at me like she looked at him nor smile on me like she did on him..yes the two is definetly inlove with each other..then they kissed..well I will be hypocrite if I said I’m still happy..yes I am..but I am indeed in a deep pain right now..i have a lot of what if’s but I know theyr’ll be of no use now..I have to totally let go of my feelings and fucos on Kazel..But I still have to win my besfriend back ...

(Kazel’s POV)
I was all so worried about Dee...I know that She’s supposed to be with Ivan,..Ivan is supposed to be her escort just like before..but as we were taking our sets She emerged..I heard gasps and murmurs then I over heared Yedda ..so I looked back..I almost felt the sucket of my eyes fell when I saw her..She’s definitely a goddess in her own right..she’s not mestiza but she still stood out..yes indeed her charisma is overflowing and what makes me gape more is the owner of the arm she’s clinging with..I don’t know but right there and then I looked at my boyfriend..and what I saw breaks my heart..what I saw is a confirmation of the things that was bothering me since she ran away..
Flash back

Elle: kazel, how dare you!how dare you cheat our friend..wala na bang ibang lalaki? Bakit yung fiancé pa ni Devon?bakit si Ivan..di ba lam mo naman..
Yedda: If I can remember it right K, mas madalas kang makausap ni Devon pero bakit( umiiyak na saad nito at nasasaktan para sa kaibigan..they have been friends since elementary days di sila mapaghiwalay na pnili nilang tumira sa isang pad kesa sa mga bahay nila at natatakot siyang matapos ito ng dahil sa pagkakamali )

Kazel: i’m sorry..I’m sorry..but we love each other..Dee bago ka naging fiancé ni Ivan,boy friend ko na siya..di mo ba alam na sa tuwing kinikwentuhan mo ako ng sakit ng loob mo tungkol kay Ivan nasasaktan din ako..kasi kahit alam kong mahal niya ako..ikaw ang pinili ng mga magulang niya para sa kaniya..tiniis ko ang lahat..pinilit kitang intindihin at pakinggan dahil mahal kita..kahit patago ok lang basta ako ang mahal ni Ivan..(umiiyak na saad nito)

Elle:wow..as in wow..mahal?boyfriend? this is crap, this is bullshit..bakit ngayon di mo ba nasaktan si Devon..kami?bakit nilihim niyo ang relasyon niyo? Sana kung alam namin hindi aabot sa ganito..baka hindi nag-agree si Devon sa mga magulang niya..at nang malaman mo na fiancé na niya si Ivan diba dapat hiniwalayan mo na siya? O di kaya sinubukan na sabihin ang totoo?ang se-selfish niyo..ikaw Ivan..akala mo kung sino kang perpekto..you love her? Pero ba’t mo itinago?di ba dapat alam ni Dee to dahil bestfriend mo siya?nagpapatawa ka ba? (galit na galit na saad nito at umiiyak na rin habang ang tatlong lalaki ay pinipigilan ang sarili na hindi bogbugin si Ivan habang hawak si Elle na handang manugod)

Ivan: c’mon guys..Kazel is my girlfriend i love her .. what is wrong with that, that fiancé thing is a crap..there’s nothing real in it..and you pede ba wag kang umarte na parang kinakawawa..na ako ang may kasalanan..magaling ka nga talagang artista no wonder madami kang award kasi kahit kaming mga kaibigan mo eh nakuha mo..nadala mo...

Hindi na natapos ni Ivan ang sasabihin dahil sa suntok na natanggap mula sa kaibigan na hindi na nakapagpigil pa sa mga narinig mula sa binata..

Pat: you know what, your right.that engagement thing is a crap ang that’s bullshit..you know why? Because you do not deserve to be her fiancé..she’s too good for you that even a single strand of her hair you do not well fit in..bastard..(galit nag alit na saad nito sa kaibigan hindi makapaniwala na maririnig sa kaibigan ang ganun patungkol kay Devon)
Eslove: what is wrong with you? Sa grupo natin mas kilala mo si Devon.kasalanan ba niya kung bakit pinasya ng mga magulang niyo na ipakasal kayo?.( puno ng hinanakit na saad nito at di makapaniwala)
Devon: no, guys, its my fault don’t blame them..I’m so selfish..I thought you love me too..I’m sorry..I didn’t know..babe i mean Ivan..sorry..if I love you this much that i became insensitive with your true feelings..kazel I’m sorry..sorry to bat in into your relationship..the last thing that I would want to do is to hurt you..I love you both.. please guys wag kayong mag-away away ng dahil lang sa akin..hindi nila kasalanan na magmahalan ok( mahinang saad nito walang emosyon na mababakas dito)
Pagakatapos magsorry ni Devon agad itong tumalikod..I’m sorry guys..siguro dina muna matutuloy ang hangout natin..so sorry I’ve caused this trouble..ahm aalis muna ako..magbabakasyon..wag niyo akong hanapin..wag niyo akong tawagan papatayin ko ang phone..Elle, please call my manager and the management..tell them I’m out of town..i’ll come back on the awards night(saad nito sa mga kaibigan na agad na sumunod sa kaniya..pero wala paring luha ang mga mata..

Friends: Devon saan ka pupunta?( sabay sabay na saad ng mga ito pero dina sila nilingon ng dalaga..dahil hilam na ng luha ang mga mata nito..sa sobrang sakit mga mata na niya mismo ang nagkusang maglabas ng luha na kanina pa nagpupumilit na umagos)
Habang Hinahabol ng Tanong ng mga kaibigan si Devon..hindi makatinag si Kazel at Ivan..Kazel was Crying..she knew its not Devon’s fault, she knew Devon didn’t caused the trouble..it was them indeed..I’m so selfish..lihim niyang tiningnan si Ivan..at nakita niya kung panu nito kinuyom ang kamao at kung panu nito kinontrol ang sarili na hindi umiyak at nakita niya rin ang luhang tumakas sa mga mata nito at mabilis din nitong pinahid..he was acting stiff and tough as if he doesn’t care ..
Elle: ngayon Masaya ka na Ivan? Nasaktan mo na ang bestfriend mo..cut the fiancé thing..but she is your bestfriend..how could you be such a jerk..and you Kazel how does it feel that for the 1st time you won over Dee..happy now..?I know that Devon asked us not to get mad...but guys I am..I really am..you hurt my bestfriend..our bestfriend..you betrayed not only her but us..what do you expect me to do..I’m sorry guys..I’m sorry ..I just love each one of you..just give me time..(umiiyak na saad nito)
Walang may nagsalita umiiyak kahit ang mga lalaki maliban kay Ivan na agad na tumayo at di nagpaalam kahit kay Kazel..wala ng may nakakita na humahagolgul na ng iyak si Ivan nang makalabas ito ng bahay at hinahabol kung saan nagpunta si Devon maliban kay Kazel na lihim siyang sinundan ..
End of flash back
naintindihan niya kung bakit nagkaganun si Ivan..bestfriend niya ito may karapatan itong mag-alala..ramdam niya ang pangungulila ni Ivan kay Devon sa tuwing magkasama sila kahit galit ang binata sa dalaga.kahit pinapakita nito na nasusuklam siya kay Devon..lagi itong bukambibig ni Ivan..di niya lang maintindihan kung bakit nito kinasusuklaman ang dalaga..di niya pinapansin yun..pero mula nung tumakbo si Devon..lagi niya rin di nakikita si Ivan..madalas lagi tong wala..hanggang sa maging ok na silang magkakaibigan..laging di mahagilap ang binata..then..umaga ng awards night dumating Devon..I saw the longing on his yes..hindi nito alam na lingid sa kaalaman niya nakikita ko ang bawat pagsulyap niya sa dalaga...everything change between us when she run away..and I know that everything will change that she’s back..I was wrong when I told her that it is me whom Ivan’s love..because he never did..it was and it is her all along..and now..I saw how he crambled inside..when they hugged..when I saw on how Devon smile on him and the way he hugged her tightly and then they kissed..I was in total awe..I couldn’t utter a single word..then I saw Ivan’s eyes..I almost regret that i took the pace of looking at him coz what I saw was a suicide,heartbreaking and it is killing me..the man i’am claiming is not mine..I even saw a tear that scape from his eyes..why her Ivan..she already has everything..and why did you let me fall for you deeper..deeper than I was..I was just contented then to be one of your bestfriend..but why did you give me hopes...I love you..but I guess I can’t keep you..If I didn’t give you my yes then..maybe you are not crying inside now..maybe its you that she’s kissing now...



Sorry My Dearest readers waley Jaevon Moment in this chappie..but still am hoping to see your love..eheheheh and I don't know kung kelan ko ulit ito masusundan since busy ulit ako at di makagawa sa bahay dahil laging pagod ..gusto ko nalang matulog kaagad..